Home All Along

How far do I want to go? I tell myself I want to wake and see that I was always home. Yet I persist in this dream of separation. A Course In Miracles tells me I do not know the thing that I am. It also tells me the world is over. It was over in the same instant it seemed to appear in the mind of God's Son. We are God's Son.

I think I am this small creature living a small life, a tiny march of days toward a frightening mystery called death. I sense the other self that ACIM tells me about ("Myself is nothing, but my Self is everything.") The truth is, I (we) did awake. Here is a tiny portion of mind that stubbornly holds on to a non-event, a tiny stab of fear. We think we harmed Heaven, our home. We think we betrayed our Creator. We are afraid of turning back. Thus, we have legends of an angry God punishing His sinful creation.

That must be why I claim to want to wake, but seem to remain "here".

The world is our hiding place. We made it to hide from God.

We each see our own version of the world. As one, we agree to its basic dimensions, and rules, like gravity. We forgot we made the world, and so deep is our forgetting that anyone who dares to declare otherwise is seen as crazy.

I want to know what I really am. I want to go beyond theory. The world I made is not my home. I (we) never left home, nor could we. We are deeply confused. But confusion, which is a form of fear, a turning away from love, is unreal. Only the real exists.

I awoke long ago, and I'd been home all along.