Only This, pg 27

Entry for June 02, 2008 Only This pg 27
"I would not have this in place of Heaven, and the peace of God."
--A Course In Miracles.

The world is an "Instead of". I want this instead of God, instead of perfect peace, perfect love. I want to "live" a tiny life placed inside a weak, slowly decaying body, to die.

What the world calls "good" is simply waiting for the other shoe to drop. That is not good, it is chaos. True good has no opposite, no degree, no variation. Ego will demand this means Heaven is boring, static. Further chaos.

We are one Self. We are unlimited, formless, whole and perfect as our Creator wills. God's will is our will. Ego demands this is blasphemy. Remember, we made ego.

As I sit waiting for more words, I look around, and I see all these objects. Pieces of paper, an old coffee mug full of pens...I form these images. They are in my mind. The world is in my (our) mind. We chose this instead of the God we feared we offended. This is why we fear love. We thought God was mad at us, and we instantly made our own love...to hide from His love, which we believed could no longer be seen. We fear what we cannot see.

But it is not so that we cannot see these things.

I continue to look around, and I repeat: "I would not have this in place of Heaven, and the peace of God." The peace of God. Those words might sound simplistic, but we speak of reality that is mind-boggling. But it is only mind-boggling because we chose to turn from it, to throw it away in favor of dreams.

This turning, this throwing away, all happened in our creation. Not in any past, for there is no past, but in this present instant, this tiny mad idea that we lost Him, thus ourself. I see a line and I call it the Great Dichotomy, but it is just a split. We constantly go back and forth between "reality" and whatever our idea of God is. We believe in the world more strongly than God (or anything we think we cannot see with the body's eyes.) The split confuses us because we think we can see it, and feel it, even though we have no clue as to how many hairs grow from our head, or how to breathe, or clean our own blood, or grow our own nails. We can read about these in books, and be awarded diplomas, but all we have done is study the words of another based on what they have read...we know nothing, yet we demand that we have knowledge. We only make discoveries of what already exists around us, having forgotten that we are doing all of this, forming a planet, projecting images.

The world is an "instead of". We have no limits. ACIM calls us "God the Son." I do not want the world in place of Heaven and God's peace, which clearly is my (our) own. This is why the world is unreal. I (we) do not really want the world. The world, with its "good days" and its "bad days", was over in the same tiny mad instant that it seemed to occur. It never happened. The great irony is that there is no body here, typing these words, yet the truth behind this illusion is eternally real.

So I change the way I see the world, and the world I see changes...